There’s a fantastic quote from author Charlie “tremendous” Jones.
“You are the same today that you are going to be five years from now except for two things: the people with whom you associate and the books you read.”
When I first heard this, I thought, “There’s no way that’s true. There are so many other factors.” But after reading Charlie’s Life is Tremendous book, I had to agree. I agree because I’m living proof.
Many moons ago, I made drastic changes in my life. I was unsatisfied with so many negative relationships around me and felt like I wasn’t living life. I was just surviving. I looked five years down the road and didn’t see much change there either. Ever been there?
I thought, “Is this it? Is this as good as it gets? Should I just move on and accept what life threw at me?”
HECK NO! I wasn’t about to keep living an unfulfilled life by not pursuing my passions. This was my life!
It was time to funnel better input into my life. I took Charlie’s advice and made the decision to fade from negative people’s lives and gain new, fulfilling relationships. I joined leadership groups, professional organizations and masterminds to associate with positive-minded people. Then I picked up more books that inspired me, educated me and guided my growth.
Not long after this decision, the funniest thing happened. I became happier! Just two changes; association and reading habits, began the transformation.
Your relationships
If you really want to grow personally and professionally, you may have to re-evaluate your relationships. Acquaintances, friends, colleagues, partners and family members can support or stifle your pursuit of a better life. Most will do it indirectly. I had a family member who decided to join the police force much to the dismay of many naysayers whom he called his friends. My supportive and loving niece encouraged him until he made the decision and took control of his destiny. It’s his passion, not his friends’. It’s his life, not his colleagues’.
Limiting your exposure to stifling people isn’t easy, but it is essential if you’re going to carry out your goals. They may be your childhood best friend, your boss or cousin. When you surround yourself with positive, supportive people, you’ll find it easier to accomplish those goals you’ve put off. You’re now creating an encouraging, motivating and hopeful environment. Supportive environment = favorable future.
How can I avoid toxic people?
If you’re in situations where you can’t avoid toxic people, protecting your dream is of the utmost importance. Don’t allow someone to stomp all over your dream. Your goals and dreams are what makes you, you. It makes you tick, it makes you passionate and it makes you alive. Why in the world would you let someone take that from you? What’s my method for toxic naysayers? Either nod and smile, or literally walk away and pray they find something that allows them to feel purposeful in life.
Constantly negative people like when others are negative with them. It makes them feel better and validated. Don’t let them pull you into their mushy, comfort zone of negativity.
Your books
Read any good books lately? Maybe it depends on your definition of ‘good’. Does your reading material bring you closer or further from your goal? Is it part of your growth or merely a distraction? Does it teach you or just entertain you? If you’re not where you envisioned in life, good books are key in guiding you down the right path. I’ll be honest. I’ve watched my fair share of cat videos and have gotten lost on fashion web sites, but since I don’t plan to make a life out of creating fashion for felines, they’re just distractions. Be choosy in what you fill your head with. Books on your field of study, career path or personal growth are good places to start.
What if I don’t like to read?
Many people who say they don’t like to read already have a stigma, an excuse or a concrete mindset around reading. Are you any of these: Was reading your worst subject in school? Did your reading teacher say you’re too slow? Do you get bored instantly every time you pick up a book and start scrolling through your phone? Do you feel you have to read a book all in one sitting? (or the worst one of them all) Do you think you don’t have time to read?
The facts are — leaders are readers. Whether you’re leading a team or just yourself, dive into books that will help you on that journey. If you’re pursuing your true passion, you’ll feel alive every minute you spend time on it. Reading won’t feel like a dreaded chore. It surely won’t make you feel guilty for wasting your time. If you really want that goal, you’ll break those excuses and stigmas around reading and start with one page. That’s all you have to do to get in a new habit.
Take action toward a more fulfilled life
Once you improve your association and reading habits, you’ll be amazed at what happens. You’ll notice those once unsupportive people are impressed with your new-found joy. (Or, if they’re not — too bad!) Maybe you’ll be an inspiration to them in pursuing their once-lost goals. You’ll gain so much valuable knowledge from reading, you may find yourself staying awake til 3am to finish a book. (not like I’m speaking from experience or anything…)
You’ll never know how these two tips will help you in creating a more fulfilled life until you take the first step.
